Never Going to Own a House Again
Animals in zoos need keepers. I don't. But after hearing about my online dating fiascos a friend said, "Don't give up. I hope you'll find a keeper." The lexicon defines "keeper" as "an attendant, or guard. One that has the charge or care of something." Why would I desire that?
Consider the term "kept adult female," by and large reserved for the Other Adult female–you know, the i without stretch marks who presumably enjoyed a long-term salacious relationship with a married man who paid the hire and fringe benefits. Was that so different from traditional marriages like mine in which the man "brought home the bacon" and the woman was lover, companion and live-in assistance?
During my 17-twelvemonth kid-raising hiatus we lived on my husband'south bacon. He'd earned it, so he felt free to spend it. "Wait," my daughter shouted, "Daddy's driving a new red convertible!" He'd splurged on a gear up of wheels unfit for carpooling; then another time on a fishing boat. Simply if I had my centre on a pricey pendant, I wouldn't purchase it for myself. I'd hint and hope. Would he buy information technology for me? Had I been a expert little wife?
I'm not the simply woman of my vintage who doesn't want to hear wedding bells once again. Would I welcome a close relationship with a man? Yep! Do I want him to invade my space 24/vii? No! An old song says, "Love and marriage, they become together like a horse and carriage." Well Tra La La, who exercise you think rides in the carriage, and who pulls it? The lyrics maintain: "You can't take ane without the other." (I told you information technology was an old song.)
My mother was "the perfect woman" for two lucky men. Their needs always came before hers, because they worked hard all day (like she didn't!). Widowed twice, after 50 years of married life when she tried on her new unmarried status, it felt good: non binding, plenty of room to abound. No more, "The girls are going to a movie. Oh? You lot said we'd play bridge? I'll say I'k decorated." Or, "Sure, nosotros can skip the party. I'll make dinner." She luxuriated in her belatedly-life liberty. She took upwards oil painting and sang in a choir. She and her as well-unmarried friends bought season tickets for the symphony and ballet. Earlier, when our family visited she'd spend every possible moment with us. Not anymore. "We're going to the beach, desire to come?" "You go ahead, beloved. I'g going to take a bath."
Now I'm on my own after a 40-year matrimony. I miss my husband but understand how mom felt. Sure, I'd like a man in my life for fun, companionship and affection. But share my space on a full-time ground? When the clock strikes bedtime, I want to be home. Alone.
I eat what I want to when I experience like it. Meals are like Saturday Nighttime Live skits: I use whatever's available and have it fork set in 5 minutes. The clock starts when I scope out the refrigerator, freezer and pantry and ends when I sit down to consume. Do I want to confer with my male buddy about what to take or where to get for breakfast, lunch and dinner? In the time that would accept I could fix and scarf down whatever meal nosotros were discussing.
I hated having a roommate in college but happily traded privacy and my own space for the loving comfort of marriage. That was fine until the kids left home. After that, our lives were on different tracks. He was retired, happy to be at home; I held a enervating, exhilarating job that included lots of travel. I could relate to comedian Rodney Dangerfield's comment, "We sleep in split up rooms, have dinner apart, take split vacations – we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together."
On a real estate blog, "Living Apart Together: Split up Spaces Keep Couples Shut," 1 happy couple posted: "Our living organisation gives us the best of both worlds: togetherness when nosotros want information technology, alone time when we don't." The author predicts that a growing sense of independence within relationships could lead more than modern couples to "alive apart together." In fact, solo oldies lucky enough to find a loving partner are inventing new variations on the togetherness theme. Rather than merging households, some couples maintain their own homes; others take separate apartments in the same building. Builders are offering condos with ii master suites.
In online dating profiles, for "human relationship preferences" I bank check, "Friend, activity partner, companion." I do not cheque "wedlock," because chances are, men who miss their traditional marriages are looking for a keeper.
Why I Don't Want To Be Married Again was last modified: January 26th, 2019 past
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Source: https://betterafter50.com/why-i-dont-want-to-be-married-again/
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